


Anxiety

by fionacoyne



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Falling In Love, Gay, Jonah is in love with Cyrus you can't change my mind, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-25 23:25:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17734661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fionacoyne/pseuds/fionacoyne
Summary: Jonah doesn't want any help with his anxiety. Except Cyrus just understands him and is simultaneously very adorable and----- Jonah is head over heels and realizes it.





	Anxiety

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a few months ago and just recently finished it.

Jonah did not want any help with his anxiety. He much preferred living in a world of ignoring it all and pretending he liked Andi. It was much easier than facing the truth. He really thought he could do it to; ignore all those feelings. He hadn't even had a word for them until his panic attack at Cyrus's party. After that, he hadn't had as many panic attacks, only when he would fight with Andi. Honestly, he didn't even feel happy with her but it was a distraction. He knew that was awful, being with someone for a distraction but what else was he supposed to do. He was currently sitting against a tree in the small woods next to the school. Jonah had been coming here for awhile. It was a nice place for him to think without any distractions. He hadn't been paying attention to his surroundings so he was shocked when he heard a voice. 

"Hey Jonah can I talk to you?" It was Cyrus, he registered. Jonah furrowed his brows at the other boy but eventually nodded. He didn't know why Cyrus wanted to talk to him but by the tone in his voice it seemed important.

"My dad told me about what happened." He said a little weary, sitting down next to Jonah. Jonah's heart sunk a little when Cyrus said that. He didn't want anyone to know about his anxiety, especially not Cyrus for a reason he didn't understand. 

"I'm confused." Jonah replied, a clear sense of nervousness in his voice. He knew exactly what Cyrus meant he just didn't want to admit it. 

"Jonah it's perfectly normal. My dad wouldn't have told me about it if I didn't force it out of him. I'm sorry though, it's really none of my business I just-" he trailed off as he looked away from me for a moment. He seemed to be collecting his thoughts but Jonah wasn't very good at reading people these days. "I want-- need you to be okay." Cyrus finally said, looking at Jonah with the most serious face he's ever seen on him. It made him feel weird, loved. 

"I need to be strong. For Andi, for everyone. I'm the Jonah Beck remember?" He said, hoping Cyrus would understand and let it go. He didn't need anyone worrying about him. 

Cyrus sighed and shook his head. "You're more than that. You're a real human person with real human emotions. You are strong. But you don't have to be strong all the time." This time he moved his hand to rest on Jonah's shoulder in support. When he felt like that wasn't enough he said "I have them to you know. People just think I'm being quirky but it's more than that. I know, it's scary, but you're not alone and don't feel like you need to be." 

Jonah smiled gently at that. He didn't know what it was about Cyrus that made him feel like he meant something. It was something he never felt while talking to Andi. "Can I talk to you about something?" He brought the subject up gently, not wanting Cyrus to feel pressured to let him rant to him. 

"Of course." Cyrus replied, looking at the other boy expectedly. "You can always talk to me." 

Jonah smiled a little before getting serious again. He didn't know how to say what he was going to say next. "I don't want to be with Andi." He finally let out, feeling like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. 

Cyrus seemed to be thinking about this for a few moments. Jonah guessed it was because Andi was his friend, he felt bad now for not thinking of that. "Why?" Was all he asked.

Jonah was hesitant, but decided on just telling Cyrus everything. "She just doesn't get me. To her I am Jonah Beck, her perfect boyfriend all the time. I'm never just Jonah. Imperfect real human emotions Jonah." 

Cyrus nodded at that and bit his lip in thought. He looked back at Jonah. "Okay, I get that but maybe you should just talk to her?" It was clear he didn't know what to say, Andi was his friend and he probably didn't want to feel like the reason that her and Jonah broke up. 

Jonah sighed. "Fine." He said, feeling a little defeated. "I'll talk to her tomorrow." He really didn't want to talk to Andi. It just seemed pointless when he knew it wasn't going to work out anyway. 

But, the next day Jonah did just that. He had texted Andi to meet him at the spoon and was currently waiting for her to arrive. He looked around while he waited and noticed that Buffy and Cyrus seemed to be drinking milkshakes together. He hated how he immediately was glad because he may need to talk to Cyrus after. He felt bad that Cyrus was becoming his place of venting. He felt like the other boy deserved better. 

After a few minutes, Andi walked in, finding Jonah and sitting across from him. "Hey what's up?" She said casually. 

Jonah sighed, not ready for this at all. He tried to calm himself before his nerves got out of hand. "Have you ever seen me cry?" He asked, not thinking of a better way to convey what he needed to say. 

"No but what does that have to do with anything?" Andi replied, confusion clear on her face. Jonah hated himself for thinking 'cyrus has'

"Have you ever seen me have a panic attack?" 

"I didn't even know you had those." Cyrus does. 

"Have you ever asked me how I'm feeling?" 

"I guess I just never really think to ask" Cyrus does. 

And there Jonah was. Realizing that everything he wishes Andi did and Andi thought of, Cyrus had been doing all this time. In that moment, he realized that, he couldn't be with Andi. Somehow, in some way, he had fallen for Cyrus. 

"We need to break up" He said to Andi, in the most basic way possible. It seemed like the only thing he could say at this point. 

"What? Why?" Andi asked, confused as to what was happening. 

Jonah honestly didn't know how to reply to that. It's not like he could just blatantly say he realized he liked one of Andi's best friends. Besides, that's not the reason he wanted to break up with her in the first place. He didn't want to hurt Andi's feelings, he still cared about Andi as a friend. So, he tried to be gentle in the way he said what he was going to say next. 

"I just don't think we work together. You're not happy and neither am I." He stated simply, hoping that Andi would understand. He watched as Andi nodded slowly, probably taking it all in. Jonah was not expecting the question that followed. 

"Is there someone else?" Andi questioned. Jonah had honestly no way to reply to that. The answer was yes but it also wasn't the reason he broke up with her. Also he thought telling Andi right after they had just broken up that he liked someone else would be cruel. However, he also didn't want to lie.

"That has nothing to do with it." Jonah answered honestly. He accidentally took a glance at Cyrus who was currently doing tater theater for Buffy. In that moment Jonah honestly didn't know how he didn't realize his feelings for Cyrus earlier. He thought Cyrus was adorable the way he did voices for each of the taters and groaned when Buffy would eat one of the characters. If he listened closely he could softly hear Cyrus's complaints. He hadn't even noticed when he smiled adoringly at the boy across the room. He really was hopeless. He snapped back to reality as Andi said something he wasn't expecting. 

"You like Cyrus." Jonah was taken aback by this. He knew it was true but he had no idea how Andi figured it out. He furrowed his eyebrows. 

"H-h-ow?" He stammered, unable to finish the sentence. Andi laughed slightly, almost as if she thought Jonah's crisis was funny. Maybe she did, Jonah honestly didn't know. 

"Dude, you just stared and smiled at him for like 5 full minutes." Andi replied, not even seeming a little upset. Jonah hadn't realized he was staring for that long. 

"I didn't realize it was that long." Jonah grumbled, stuffing a baby tater in his mouth in slight frustration. 

"Of course you didn't." Andi said, looking serious and still happy. "It's because you like him so much." Jonah was confused as to why Andi seemed so happy about this.

"Aren't you upset?" He asked, eating yet another baby tater to distract himself from his own confusion. 

"Not entirely, I realized it wasn't working out and I'm happy that Cyrus is going to get a boyfriend out of this." Andi shrugged, giving Jonah a reassuring smile. This still confused him as he was easily confused, but he was happy that no one got hurt. Though Andi saying the word boyfriend made him feel a little weird, but not in a bad way. 

"Woah, slow down there, we don't even know if he likes me back." Jonah said, he wasn't sure why Andi seemed so sure that Cyrus did like him. Andi kind of scoffed at that. 

"Oh yes we do. Jonah you oblivious boy, he's liked you for a really long time." Jonah wasn't sure how to reply to that as he was honestly not expecting it. 

"How do you know?" He questioned, still not understanding where Andi was coming from. It seemed so obvious to her. 

"Just talk to him." Andi said simply. Jonah couldn’t stop being confused and his head was spinning. Although he also felt the slightest bit of hope and excitement as he listened to how sure Andi was that Cyrus liked him.

Jonah simply nodded slowly in response and made his way to the table across the room. Buffy and Cyrus went silent when they realized he was there. 

“Uhh, can I talk to Cyrus for a sec?” Jonah asked in a nervous voice while fiddling with his shaking hands. He knew he had to do this now. The more he would think about it the more anxiety he would get and he would just never get the courage. He looked from Cyrus to Buffy. It almost seemed as if Buffy knew what was happening because she smiled and had a suggestive tone when she said what she said next.

“Of course, I’ll just go sit with Andi while you two have some ‘alone time.’” This just made Jonah even more nervous. Did Buffy know he liked Cyrus? How could she know when he himself just discovered it? He didn’t have time to ponder on the details. Buffy was suspiciously quick to get up and walk away to Andi’s table. 

As soon as he was alone with Cyrus, Jonah got even more nervous if that was even possible. Cyrus appeared to be concerned. Jonah presumed he must have thought he was going to talk about his anxiety. Little did either of them know everything was about to change.

“I need to tell you something.” Jonah said, stuttering a little bit, his nervousness evident in his manner. 

“Tell me anything you want. I’m here for you.” Cyrus replied, deciding to rest his hand over Jonah’s supportively. Jonah smiled, everything in him loved the feeling of being this close to Cyrus. It made him anxious, too, because what if Cyrus never wanted to talk to him again? What if he ran away in disgust? Although, as Jonah examined Cyrus’s concerned face and thought about how good of a person he was, he knew Cyrus would never do that. The worst that could happen is he could reject Jonah and they would go back to just friends. Though Jonah hoped they could be more. 

“I-“ Jonah paused for a moment, trying to truly think about what he was doing and what was to come. That just made things worse so he did his best to shake it off and focus on the beautiful boy in front of him. 

“I like you.”

Cyrus furrowed his eyebrows. It was clear to Jonah that he was confused. He just hoped he wasn’t mad. 

“Jonah, we’ve been friends for a long time and I know I’m annoying but I also already know you like me. Friends usually like each other.” Cyrus said, clearly not understanding what was happening and what Jonah meant. Jonah couldn’t take it anymore.

“No!” Jonah exclaimed, raising his voice slightly. He lowered it for his following sentences but still had a meaningful tone. “Cyrus, you’re not annoying. You’re not annoying at all. You’re adorable, absolutely adorable. Everytime you think you’re being annoying your just being the cutest person I’ve ever seen. Goodness, Cyrus, you think I just like you as a friend? That’s not possible. It’s not possible to be around you and not fall in love with you.” It sunk in once Jonah realized what he has just said. He practically poured his heart and soul out to the boy in front of him. He could only hope that Cyrus wouldn’t hate him after all that.

Cyrus looked stunned. Jonah guessed he was just taking it all in but it made him nervous nonetheless. After what was probably minutes of silence that felt like hours to Jonah, Cyrus finally talked.

“Jonah, I’ve liked you like that for as long as I’ve known you. I never thought you could feel the same.” This surprised Jonah, despite Andi telling him that Cyrus liked him, he wasn’t truly expecting it to be true. He was complete overjoyed. This person that he had fallen for turned out to be someone who had fallen for him too. He couldn’t believe it, but he was happy.

“So, we like each other?” Jonah asked.

“We do.” Cyrus replied, happiness evident on his face.

“What table is this?” 

“Table 4. Why?”

“Table 4, left side of the booth.” Jonah said, smiling.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Cyrus questioned, clearly not understanding.

“Oh I just wanted to remember where we had our first kiss.” Jonah smirked. He walked to Cyrus’s side of the booth and sat next to him. He slowly grabbed the other boy’s face.

“Can I kiss you?”

Cyrus nodded.

With that signal, Jonah brought Cyrus’s face closer and pressed their lips together gently. He felt like he was in one of those overdramatic movies where fireworks start flying and everything is all happy. There were no fireworks, but there was Andi and Buffy cheering from across the spoon. It felt right to Jonah, being this close to Cyrus. 

Eventually, stupid oxygen got in the way and they had to break apart. Although, Jonah was stilling holding the face of the boy he loved. He couldn’t be happier. There was one more thing that he needed to be completely satisfied though.

“Okay I know this is probably way too soon but can I please call you my boyfriend because I've fallen way too hard to wait any longer.” Jonah rambled quickly without even thinking about it. Cyrus laughed at that and nodded. 

“I wouldn't have it any other way” Jonah was beyond happy to hear those words from his boyfriend. His boyfriend. Cyrus was his boyfriend. Jonah could definitely get used to that. 

Cyrus grabbed Jonah's hand and Jonah rested his head on his shoulder. He knew his anxiety was not cured from this. He would still have panic attacks and bad days. Now, though, he had a wonderful boyfriend to help him through it. Jonah hoped he could help Cyrus through things too. Afterall, they were just a couple young kids in love.


End file.
